Boing Boing: Decrypt my wordless book, says Chinese code-novelist

I have interpreted the prose as follows:

Hey you crazy beady-eyed freak, did you have sex with mouse?

What!

I’m not going to ask you again what all these mouse turds doing in our bed. They are lined up in a row, with a small gap in the middle, apparently from your fling with a small rodent.

Well dear, your ass used to look so cute, with your off center hole. It was hard for me to keep my hands off of you. Now, however, with all the double chocolate fudge brownie iced cream you eat before bed, your ass has doubled in size. Furthermore, your hole is barely visible now.

In fact, the last time we so sweetly made love, you sat on my testicle, and as a result, my penis has grown very long and thin. So, actually, YES, I did have sex with a mouse.